During Primary School most of my teachers' comment in my Report book were I am talkative, homework not handed in on time etc ... I always have a group of friend to play with me, eat with me, basically just have LOTS of fun together ... One of the best friend I had was Annur. Whenever I feel sad or happy I would definitely share with her.
And somehow it drastically changed when I am in Secondary School. I am always so quiet. Possibly because I went from EM3 to Normal Academic so felt a bit of "out of the group", and I also told myself improve myself and not to talk so much, hand in homework on time etc. And end up I am so use to being a quiet girl. And I kind of lost ALL of my contact with primary school friend.
Maybe not all, some of them went to the same Secondary School with me but we were in different stream and class. I did chat with them when I am in school, but then don't since when they started not to talk to me. And day by day, week by week we never stop chatting. Not even a Hi when we saw each other. Shuhui live in the same block as me but we seldom chat, from chatting non-stop till don't know what to say.
Starting of the Secondary 1 life, I basically just ate alone during break time then don't how and when I get to know friends, I start to chat with them and have fun. However I am not that cheerful talkative girl anymore. I became very quiet, but I always do and hand in work on time. In the eyes of teacher I am a obedient girl, very good student etc. I find it nice to hear them praise me etc. But now that i think of I am not that happy anymore, as I am trying to be someone who I am exactly not.
Then I make a very close friend Rosiyanti, YEA my granny ! haha with her I can always chat with her for a long long time, endless talk. However it was only with her the rest of my friends though I am close but I don't see myself chatting with them endlessly like I am with Rosi. And wonder why, I seem to be listening more than the amount of talking I have done when I am with them. And I wonder why ? Till now still got no answer ...
Now Year 1 in polytechnic soon to be Year 2 student. I kind of trying to be back the cheerful girl I used to be, the girl who is always talkative and all. I find it hard. Which make me wonder just which am I ??? The quiet girl or cheerful talkative girl???
I remember one of my Primary School teacher said in my journal "You would enjoy more with you friend from friend in Secondary School " I think something like that, can't remember the exact sentence. But at that time I didn't think so, I was contented with just being with my Primary school friend. And somehow she was right because looking at how I lost all my contact with my friend from Primary School. I think even if I met them in person, we got nothing in common to chat with.
Whereas I still can chat with friends from Secondary school. Maybe because I didn't want to lose anymore friends like how I do with Primary School friends that why I still chat with them fearing to lose them if I did not chat with them anymore. I remember saying I hate separation as separation cause me to lost friends. I guess I am eating up all those words, cause separation doesn't always mean losing of friends, it is only if you know how to maintain friendship after the separation^^
HAHA sorry for this naggy things I post just some thoughts kept going on in my mind after listening to a song I heard.
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